List of Sorrows
by Darth Moya
Summary: What's weighing down on souls of the Konoha-nin? Collection of oneshots. Various AUs, pairings may vary as well.
1. Introduction

Entry no. 1: Introduction

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_**A/N: Shamelessly blatant **__**KakaSaku**__** … heh XP As every other story in this FF it's inspired by a list of words/phrases I found somewhere on the Net and can't find the source… gomenna. If you'll find out you know the list and its creator, PM me, please. The latin quotes on beginning of each chapter will be translated on the end, so don't panic.**_

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_**Nosce te ipsum.**_

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"Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi smiled as the kunoichi ran to him. "Sakura."

"Welcome back," she said merrily.

"Thank you."

"We've missed you on our drinking trips," Sakura grinned. "We miss the guy who says "okay, I'm bored, let's go home" in the right time, before we get wasted."

Kakashi shook his head. "Sakura."

"What?"

"You're like a completely different person now, you know?"

She looked a bit confused. "Different from what?"

"Different from the wannabe kunoichi I met all those years ago. Who was head-over-heels in love with Sasuke, who had long hair…"

She smiled a little, but it was a sad smile. "I still remember the introductions."

"You do?"

She nodded. Then she chuckled. "As I know you, you would answer in the completely same way."

He shrugged. "And you, Sakura? What would you say now?"

"If you asked me once more?" She pondered about it for a while. "What did I say last time?"

"That your name is Haruno Sakura. And that you hate Naruto."

Sakura blushed a bit. "Oh."

"You've been too distracted by Sasuke."

She shook her head. "I've been so stupid."

"Maybe."

She punched him in the arm, not very gently. "You were supposed to start denying that, sensei."

"Sorry. What would you tell me now, then? What's your name? What do you like? What do you hate? What are your dreams for the future? What are your hobbies?"

Sakura looked up at him. And there was the same look in her eyes like the one she had when she fought, mature, smart, determined. "I'm Haruno Sakura," she answered. "I like dumplings and I hate when Hatake Kakashi plays dumb. My dream is…" she closed her eyes. "That the Team Seven will be back once." Opening them again, she managed a grin. "And my hobby is probably studying. I have to memorize a lot of stuff for my medical studies."

He smiled. She was someone different. Someone confident. Someone who could stand on her own.

"Hello, Sakura, I'm Hatake Kakashi."

"What do you like and what do you hate, Kakashi?"

"I hate it when my book gets soaked in a rain. And I like… the person I like…" he was smiling, and she knew he was mocking her for her shyness.

She punched him again.

"Is a certain kunoichi. But I'm afraid she hates me."

She couldn't help the fond smile that crept up her face. "She does," she said softly, grabbing his arm and pulling him with her. "It's her hobby."

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_**Get to know yourself.**_


	2. Complicated

_**DISCLAIMER I FORGOT TO PUT IN: I do not own Naruto. I really do not. If I did, it would be like a soap opera with characters ending up in each other's beds and stuff. And there would be more rain. Oh so more rain.**_

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**_Entry no. 2: Complicated_**

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_**A/N: Sort of one-sided SasuSaku here… enjoy.**_

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_**Amor omnibus idem.**_

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"What's wrong, Sakura?"

The kunoichi looked up at her sensei. "Um… it's nothing."

"I highly doubt that, Sakura," he replied.

She sighed, looking out of the window at training Sasuke. "It's complicated."

Kakashi was silent for a while. Then he lifted his Icha Icha to his face. "Love is not complicated, Sakura."

She turned to him. "What?"

"Love is not complicated. It's simple. Far too simple."

She couldn't see even his single eye because of the book.

That was probably the point.

"How can you say that?"

"I say it as someone who knows how it feels to be in love. In love with someone who doesn't feel the same for you, in love with someone who sees your relationship as a fling. I know how it feels to lose someone beloved."

"And you say it's simple?"

"Yes. Love is this - you want someone. You want to be with the person for the rest of your life, protect her, be there for her when she is down, ease her pains, heal her wounds, share her tears. Simple."

"But…"

"It's people themselves who are complicated. Their personalities, their minds. And life. Life is complicated. And hard."

Sakura looked out of the window. "But it's worth it, right?"

"For the right reasons, yes."

"Why do you live, sensei?"

"So the sacrifices of those I loved won't go in vain."

"Is it that simple?"

"I don't know why I should make it complicated for myself."

Sakura looked at him. "Sensei, sometimes I don't understand you at all. I understand what you say, but I just don't understand _you_."

Kakashi smiled a bit, pocketing his book. "I'm a simple man."

Sakura sighed.

"But sometimes making sense in simplicity is complicated."

He vanished in a puff of smoke.

How convenient from a man who sees underneath the underneath.

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_**Love is the same for all.**_

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_**A/N: Treat for those who are KakaSaku fans and guessed that Kakashi's unrequited love is Sakura. Why just for them? 'Cause I'm a bitch… XP**_


	3. Making History

_**Entry no. 3: Making History**_

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_**A/N: Implied NaruHina and KakaSaku. AU.**_

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_**Historia est vita memoriae.**_

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Sakura and Naruto stood in the doorway of a classroom.

Ino, the new academy sensei, just gave her uninterested students a history lesson.

There were two kids who especially caught interest of the pair standing in the doorway.

An especially bored-looking girl with pale-pink piggytails and onyx eyes, Sakura and Kakashi's daughter, Mio, and a blue-eyed raven-haired boy who surprisingly seemed to pay attention, the son of Naruto and Hinata, Minato.

"The attempted destruction of Konoha occurred in the final rounds of then chuunin exams…"

Sakura smiled as she saw Ino smile a bit as well.

"During the battle between two gennin - the jinchuriki of Suna and later Kazekage Sabaku no Gaara and Konoha ninja Uchiha Sasuke - a genjutsu was used on the whole arena, making every civilian - and a whole lot of shinobi present - immediately fall asleep." She smiled broader as she sat on the edge of her desk. "I was one of those shinobi."

"Whoa," the kids said in a choir.

"So you didn't see the Destruction of Konoha yourself?"

Ino shook her head. "No," she admitted. "But I have friends who even participated in it." She looked at Sakura and Naruto. "And if they will be willing to come out of hiding…"

"Hi, kids!" Naruto said enthusiastically, dragging Sakura by wrist to Ino's desk. "Hi, Minato!"

Minato just blushed and looked away, mouthing Hi, Dad.

Naruto grinned. He was as sweet as his mother. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I'm sure you've heard about me!"

"Whoa…."

"And this is Haruno Sakura! We were team mates!"

"Whoa…"

Mio glanced at her mom and smiled a bit before resuming her state of blank boredom.

She inherited that from Kakashi.

"During the Destruction of Konoha, I and Sakura went to help Sasuke, who went to stop the Suna ninja!"

Sakura and Ino looked at each other and shrugged.

"…then we ended up fighting Gaara, who was jinchuriki of the Shukaku, the Ichibi. Sakura-chan here was captured by him, and it was all on me to save her! So I created a whole lot of kage bunshin and kicked him into a pulp! But then I realized Gaara is a good guy after all, and I talked to him, and he calmed down. He even became a Kazekage!"

Sakura shook her head. Naruto, as always, pretty much adjusted the story to his liking. But the history is written by the winners, right? And this fight was Naruto's victory, after all.

History.

"Could you tell us about the war?" some kid asked.

"Sure! We have a lot of stories about fights, battles and stuff!"

History.

She never thought about it like that, but now, when she was standing in front of a history class with Naruto, who was speaking about his life, about what he experienced…

As of history.

Maybe, every time they dived into battle, every time they gave all they had into some fight…

They were making history.

"And Sakura punched him so hard the ground cracked!"

"Whoa…."

Every little thing they did affected the future.

Every day of their lives, they were making history.

"And it never was the same way it was before…"

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_**History is life of the memories.**_

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_**A/N: Mio is a word for cherry blossom as well. I wanted to name the girl Rin, but then I settled on Mio. And Minato… I guess that much is obvious.**_


	4. Rivalry

_**Entry no. 4: Rivalry**_

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_**A/N: Sort of Kakashi/Kurenai/Gai love triangle, with AsumaKurenai (That makes it Kakashi/Asuma/Kurenai/Gai love square) , and some one-sided LeeSaku NaruSaku and SasuSaku. This means it's an AU, right? Oh well. Enjoy.**_

_**And gee, thanks those people who reviewed! And the one who faved! And all those who followed! And... Sundes2013... I didn't get the "young for your age" part, but I will take it as a compliment! :) Thank you.**_

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_**Sublata lucerna omnes mulieres aaequales sunt.**_

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Sakura sat on a bench next to Sasuke, watching Lee and Naruto as they vied with each other for her attention.

Gai, Kakashi, Kurenai and Iruka were nearby, watching the kids with amusement.

"Now, that's what I call rivalry," Kurenai smiled.

Iruka chuckled. "Naruto's giving it his best again, right?"

"And so is Lee!" Gai leapt to stand up for his student. "It seems he found his eternal rival as well. Right, Kakashi?"

Kakashi kept on reading his Icha Icha. "You mean Naruto or Sasuke?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" Kurenai asked, eying the raven-haired Uchiha who watched the scene before him coldly. "He isn't participating at all."

"Oh, he is," Kakashi disagreed. "In his own way. He wants Sakura's heart as much as those two, he is just the only one who knows how to do it."

"How do you mean it?" Gai asked, frowning. "Is this supposed to be charming? That's not youthful at all!"

Kakashi shrugged. "Maybe. But it's obviously working."

"Right, young Sakura seems to sneak a glance at him every now and then," Iruka shook his head. "I don't understand the girl."

"I do," Kurenai said with a smile. "It's sweet when others are trying, but it's always more fun to quarry someone who isn't infatuated with you."

Kakashi and Gai looked at her.

She just smiled.

In front of them, the peaceful scene ended up in annoyed Sasuke walking away, Naruto stuck in a Naruto-shaped crater in a wall and Lee being stared down by Sakura.

"Is this rivalry healthy for them?" Iruka asked out of the blue.

"It's good for their advancement," Kakashi and Gai said simultaneously.

Gai glared at Kakashi challengingly. Kakashi ignored him.

He pocketed his book and turned to Kurenai. "Now our fun is spoiled, would you want to go for a drink with me?"

Kurenai smiled. "No, Kakashi-san."

"I could treat you for some dumplings or sushi," Gai offered.

"No, Gai-san, thank you," Kurenai shook her head, standing up.

Asuma walked past the four of them.

"Asuma-san!" Kurenai called after him.

The man turned. "Hm? Kurenai-san?"

"Would you like some tea?"

Asuma shrugged. "Why not?"

Iruka turned to his fellow shinobi, just to find Gai and Kakashi – one more subtly than the other – glaring at Asuma, who was walking away with Kurenai, both laughing.

"Rivalry," he said, chuckling. "It's good for advancement, right?"

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_**When the lamp dims out, every woman is the same.**_


	5. unbreakable

_**Entry no. 5: Unbreakable**_

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_**A/N: AU. My own cruel AU where everyone dies on Sakura… tee hee. XP**_

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_**Adamante durior.**_

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"Wake up, Lee-san! Wake up!"

Tears were streaming down her worn-out face, along with some blood from the cuts and scratches.

No matter what she did, no matter how hard she tried.

His chest failed to rise again.

"Lee-san!"

Falling forward on his motionless body, she began sobbing, crying her heart out.

It was too much for her. She lost too much.

Sasuke, Naruto, her parents and now Lee…

"Sakura."

She jerked away from the hand that landed on her shoulder.

"Sakura, calm down."

Thos words, spoken with a hint of softness, but blankly and calmly, ignited a little flame of anger in her chest.

"Go away!" she screamed, the noise muffled by Lee's vest.

"Sakura, there are others who need your help."

Disapproving.

His voice was disapproving.

This time her scream was wordless.

"Sakura."

Unwavering.

"Sakura, you are stronger than this. Get up."

Why?

Why was his mask of impassivity so perfect?

He lifted her from Lee and made her look at him.

His sharingan eye was exposed.

He was composed, calm, cold.

This mask.

This damned, perfect mask.

It seemed almost…. Unbreakable.

Lee died. Why was there nothing in his eyes when Lee's just died?

Why was there nothing in his eyes when he saw her, who he put his hopes in, break down?

Why?

"Why, sensei?"

"Because it had to be. Things that happen, happen. You didn't abandon him, you were with him till the end. Now move on. Go and save the others so Lee can rest in peace."

So blunt.

His voice was so blunt. His words were blunt.

There was still nothing in his eyes.

Can't you _feel_, Hatake?

She wondered if he had always been this way.

Probably not.

"Lee died, sensei. Too many died today."

Show me your tears.

Show me you're human, Hatake.

Kakashi seemed disapproving again.

"Don't make it more."

She wanted to do something, anything, to tear the mask off. Not the actual mask, but the mental one Kakashi wore.

But…

Was this what she wanted?

Because if she saw Kakashi cry right now, she wouldn't be able to do anything.

If she broke the mask, it wouldn't be unbreakable anymore.

Kakashi's strength, all that it meant for her, would be gone, forever.

And even when she hated how perfectly it held, she needed it that way.

Unbreakable.

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_**Harder than steel.**_

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_**Inspired by Feel by Marie Digby. Oh well. Try reading it while listening to it. I didn't. And find the lyrics in the story! Who does gets a treat!**_


	6. Obsession

_**Entry no. 6: Obsession**_

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_**A/N: SasuSaku. Sorta. AU, because I don't know Naruto Shipuuden and this is happening somewhere in it.**_

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_**Difficile est dolori convenire cum patentia.**_

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"It must be me."

"No, Sakura."

"It_ must_ be me who does it."

"Sakura, listen to me."

Sakura shot a quick look at them, Kakashi and Naruto standing in the front.

"Go away. All of you. It's personal."

"Do you listen to yourself, Sakura-chan?!" Naruto yelled. "You're like him!"

Sakura backed away, frowning. "What are you talking about, Naruto?"

"I mean that whole "it's my revenge, everyone step away" crap. You drive away people who want to help you."

"During every our training, you insisted to test your skills against my sharingan. I know… _we_ know you train so you can kill him."

"I has to be me!" She shouted at them, backing away. "I failed when I was supposed to keep him in the village, and I have to atone for my blunder."

"Shut it, Sakura-chan! It was me! _I_ promised to bring him back, not you!"

Sakura's hands fisted. "Naruto…"

"Sakura, clear up," Kakashi said slowly and reasonably. "This whole uproar about Sasuke… it got to you. You're_ obsessed_ by him."

Sakura's chin quavered.

She was.

She_ was _obsessed by him.

She always had been.

When she met him, she immediately fell in love with those brooding onyx eyes of his.

And the first roots of obsession grew as she watched his every step, every little movement of his hand with almost religious attention.

And the obsession grew as she worked hard in her classes to stay in the upper half of students, to keep up with him, to be closer to him.

It grew as she got into one team with him and sacrificed her meal so that if it came to it, it was her who would be dropped, not him.

It grew as she thought he died on the bridge in the Land of Waves, as she cried atop him.

It grew when they passed the first phase of the chuunin exam together.

And in the Forest of Death, when he seemed ready to back out from the fight with Orochimaru, when he got his cursed seal and seemed prepared to kill the Sound-nins…

The roots went somewhere deeper, so deep it hurt.

When he left, numb to all the things she told him…

Something snapped.

She couldn't stand the pain.

And what was mildly obsessive child love…

Became obsession.

There was nothing but Sasuke in her head for a long time…

And now he's back.

And so is her obsession.

But the strong person she was now, the person who shook off the childish naivety, knew her aim wasn't bringing Sasuke back anymore.

It was stopping him, forever.

Killing him.

Making him pay for all he had done.

Because she failed to make him stay.

Leaping away, she left Naruto and Kakashi behind.

"I'm going for her," Naruto said, ready to follow her.

But Kakashi's outstretched arm stopped him.

"No," he said simply. "You can't. I will go. If Sakura does that, if she kills him, we will lose her forever." He let his hand drop. "I'll kill him for her."

And he set off towards Sakura.

Naruto stood where he was, hands fisted, fighting with himself.

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_**It's hard to be in pain and be patient. – Pubilius Syrus**_

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_**A/N: Shit. Everything with Kakashi and Sakura I write ends up in hints of KakaSaku. I shouldn't have began reading Naruto fanfics with reading KakaSaku. EVERYTHING I do smell like it.**_


	7. Eternity

_**Entry no. 7: Eternity**_

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_**A/N: SasuSaku, sort of hardcore angst … XP AU. If you want it to be, you can say that it's a sequel of Obsession.**_

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_**Ut sunt humana, nihil est perpetum.**_

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To everyone his battle.

To everyone his death.

It was simple, as only deaths could be.

One unhealthy love.

One sword.

Two people.

Two lives.

Her strength was overwhelming, as was her resolve when she cut trough both of their bodies.

And now, there they stood, frozen in their pain as statues, face to face.

They were dying, yet he knew she might be able to heal herself if she wanted.

But she didn't.

Everyone makes his own destiny, and she decided to seal her fate right now, right there.

With him.

And so, doing the only thing he could, he embraced her.

Her pale, battered body, body of a healthy and strong kunoichi Konoha was slowly losing.

She returned the embrace.

And they stood there.

Impaled by one sword, wrapped in each other's arms, refusing to let go and die.

Because if they could, they would become the statues they looked like.

So they could stand there, in their silent moment of agreement.

For the eternity.

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_**Nothing human lasts eternally. – Plautus**_


	8. Gateway

_**Entry no. 8: Gateway**_

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_**A/N: Bah. The worst I've written. Gah. I read it and cringe seeing what a bullshit it is… sorry if you like it … XP**_

_**P.S. Thanks for your reviews! I read every one of them! I'M so happy someone actually reads it! .**_

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Konoha's gateway was an interesting place indeed.

It was a place of uttermost importance for most of Konoha ninja.

There was the place ninja gathered before a mission outside the city.

It was a place which held countless memories for the pair standing in front of them right now.

The man grinned and ruffled his hair.

"Do you remember the Cat retrieval mission, Sakura-chan?"

The woman, a woman in her forties with grey-streaked pink hair, sighed. "You mean the one when you've got beaten up by a _cat_?"

The man nodded. "Yeah, that one."

Sakura pouted. "Yes, I remember, Naruto."

"Or the mission to paint over the scratch on the gate."

Sakura shook her head. "Naruto. I'm still not senile, okay? I remember them. All of them."

Naruto looked at her. "Really?"

"Yes. Like the escort mission with Tazuna, when we fought Haku and Zabuza."

"When it seemed Sasuke died and they named a bridge for me."

"That one."

"And when I and Sasuke saved Kakashi-sensei."

"And the mission when we had to protect Ibiki-san's brother."

"Idate."

Sakura nodded. "And… I remember your Sasuke retrieval mission. I remember standing there. I was about to follow you."

"But Shikamaru told you to stay."

"And you said to leave it to you."

"I'm sorry I failed you, Sakura-chan."

"It's okay, Naruto," she said bitterly. "It was Sasuke's choice. And you've done your best. I know it."

She patted his shoulder.

"You would have it no other way."

They watched the gate for few long moments.

"Let's go for to Ichiraku's for some ramen," Sakura said suddenly and pulled Naruto away.

The gateway held lots of memories. And lots of tears, too, for those afraid to shed them.

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_**A/N: *cringes***_


	9. Death

_**Entry no. 9: Death**_

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_**A/N: SakuraXIno friendship, my personal cruel AU where everyone dies on Sakura again… set after Lee's death. WARNING: It's bull.**_

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"Am I going to die, Sakura?"

Sakura turned to her friend, lying limply on her bed.

If she asked earlier, she could say she's not sure.

But now…

Since Ino woke up from the coma, she was dying even more quickly than before, her previous state making it easier for her body to deal with the disease and the injuries.

"Yes, Ino."

"How soon?" her voice was quiet.

Sakura let go of her tools and sat down on her friend's bed. "Very soon," she admitted. "But I'm not sure when exactly."

"That's too bad," Ino said, smiling slightly - only way of smiling her worn-out body allowed her. "I'm going to die before I get the chance for a rematch with you."

"I'm sorry about that, Ino."

"I was going to kick your ass anyway."

Sakura smiled a bit. "You were."

"Hey," the blonde called softly. "Don't be nice at me just because I'm dying. That's no fun, forehead-girl."

"Sorry."

"Are you so down because of me?"

Sakura looked at her. How could she even ask?

"Don't be," Ino said firmly. "I'm okay. I've done all I wanted to do. Except the fight, but I can live… I can die with that."

Sakura shook her head. How can she be so… calm when she's dying?

"Ne, Sakura," Ino caught her attention once more. "You know, I thought I'm dead the second those senbons hit me. And so… I did all I wanted to do in the two minutes before I blacked out. I've told my team they are the best and that I love them, I've said full-on I think I might not be the best kunoichi ever born, but I'm awesome anyways, and tried a dangerous trick with kunai Asuma-sensei showed us once. I really thought I'm gonna die there. So I did all I could so I won't regret."

"Ino…"

"I'm done in that world."

Sakura watched her friend with tears welling up in her eyes.

"Just one more thing I wanted to do - Sakura, you're the best best friend I've ever had and I… and I would send Sasuke to hell if not doing so may mean losing you. You're the best. Friend. Ever."

And one tear fell. "Idiot."

"Do you know I always had a thing for Shikamaru? I didn't until he kneeled above me when I was blacking out. Funny how you realize when it's too late, huh?"

Too late. It was definitely too late for Ino.

"Don't cry, forehead girl," Ino grinned. "Death's gonna be like vacation to me, you know? Forever vacation. No more forcing Shikamaru to move, no more yelling at Chouji to let his food go for a while."

"Stop that."

"I'm gonna love my death."

"Shut up."

"I'll say hello to Naruto and Sasuke for you."

Sakura bit her tongue. "Find Lee-san as well."

"Lee's dead?"

"Yes."

Ino closed her eyes. "And your parents. I'll find your parents. Is there something you want to tell them?"

"That I loved them," Sakura said simply. "I guess that… all that was supposed to be said was."

"Fine. Easier for me to remember."

"Ino?"

"Yeah?"

"When you die…"

"Wait. Don't cry when I die, okay? Be happy for me. Because imagine how boring lying in this bed is for me. Death is freedom."

"Okay. When you die, who do you want to get the flower shop?"

"You."

Sakura grimaced. "I'm terrible with flowers."

"You'll manage."

Sakura took her hand and squeezed it.

Ino tried squeezing her, too, but failed.

And then she gasped for breath.

Once, twice…

Her heartbeat slowed dramatically.

"Bye, Ino," Sakura said, knowing that this was the last paroxysm.

And Ino died.

And Sakura didn't cry.

It's funny, death, really.

How you can find deep sorrow in it, but inner calmness as well.

How death can help you deal with death.

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_**A/N: Warned you.**_


	10. Opportunities

_**Ent**__**ry no. 10: Opportunities**_

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_**A/N: SasuSaku. AU.**_

_**Thanks to my regular reviewers, Rosebunse and sundes2013, as well as akirasatsuna, who reviewed as well. (sorry if I wrote something wrong...)**_

_**P.S. I'm trying to get my hands on the 8th episode of shhippuuden - and I'm failing! I hate my flashdisk!**_

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Watching Sakura battle was like watching a sakura blossom dancing in the wind - she was whirling, striking out, hitting the ground with that crushing force of hers, making it crack under her fist.

And watching Sakura battle against Sasuke, with his ability of predicting her attacks, dodging them with grace of a snake, raining his own attacks down on her… it was almost breath taking, for someone with eyes good enough to perceive it whole.

Hatake Kakashi's eyes were good enough for that. His sharingan eye was, at least.

His eyes were good enough to percept one more thing.

They both weren't striking to kill.

Sakura seemed to concentrate more on dodging his attacks and attacking just when she needed to lay off for a while.

And Sasuke's sword seemed to sweep slightly slower, as if to leave Sakura the chance to dodge.

Kakashi lay where he was.

He had no choice, really. His chakra was drained and his body battered.

So he watched the battle in front of him.

They were both going to tire very quickly at this rate - and then they will be forced to flee and fight another day. Was that what they wanted?

A perfect opportunity opened for Sasuke - he had a clear way to Sakura's neck. One quick sweep and fight would be over.

But instead, he whirled away as Sakura finished her spin, four shuriken flying out of her hand at awesome speed.

Sasuke dodged three of them and parried the last with his sword.

They were both panting, watching each other attentively.

Kakashi wondered what was going on in their heads.

Did Sasuke notice the mourning band on Sakura's sleeve?

Did Sakura see yet another scar that showed itself on Sasuke's chest as he raised his arm?

Or were they both reminiscing, remembering those sweet times as Team Seven?

Never mind that, because Sakura lunged forward again.

At first, Sasuke didn't move.

He seemed lost in thought, his scarlet eyes still fixed at the spot Sakura stood in seconds ago.

Another opportunity.

Sakura whipped out a kunai and went at Sasuke full speed…

And chose his less vulnerable place - head - as her first target.

Sasuke ducked the lunge, sweeping his sword in a circle around him, aiming for Sakura's legs.

She jumped up and attacked from above with her kunai.

Sasuke caught the blow with his blade.

Why?

Why didn't they want to kill each other?

Kakashi preached himself mentally.

Despite the obvious.

Sakura loved Sasuke, as much as she wanted to deny it now.

And Sasuke…

He still had feelings.

As much as he wanted to deny it now.

Sakura held Sasuke's hands above him, kunai crossed with sword.

And there they stood, face to face.

And Kakashi saw another opportunity.

Not to kill.

But to end something as well.

And Sakura used this one.

"Sasuke-kun," she breathed out. "Do you hate us?"

Sasuke blinked.

His voice was very quiet when he spoke up. "No, Sakura. I can't hate you. You're… you were all I had."

Sakura's eyes were filled with tears as Sasuke looked away.

For once, there was an opportunity Kakashi missed.

But Sakura saw it.

And she was going to make use of it.

She plunged forward, her body slamming into Sasuke's.

"Sasuke-kun…"

She closed her eyes as she leant in, their breaths mingling.

He closed his eyes, too, and the tension in his upraised arms slackened as he sealed the gap between their lips.

Kakashi looked away.

This was Sakura's moment.

Sakura's opportunity.

Opportunity to deal with her past.

Opportunity to deal with her love for Sasuke.

* * *

_**A/N: SO hard to find a proper idea for this word! Messed up my planned 10-onsehots-in-2-days challenge! And it ended in… I-so-don't-wanna-kill-you fluff. BORING! And OOC as the most fucking Akatsuki hell. Sorry for the rant.**_


	11. 33

_**Entry no. 11: 33%**_

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**_As always, thanks my followers and mostly those who have the courage to review! :) It's so nice to know I don't suck at something I always thought I suck at! (i.e. understanding characters) ... so this chaper is dedicated to you all!_**

**_P.S. akirasatsuna... Sorry it's not Tenten. ;) I wrote it before I found liking in the pairing._**

* * *

"Are you sure it's there?"

Neji shrugged. "Quite."

"Quite?" Sakura repeated.

They were on the outskirts of the Land of Waves, in a provincial village with about two hundred citizens, to retrieve an artifact stolen from one of Konoha's allied villages.

Right now they were on a walk through the tiny center, hand in hand as they were supposed to be, because they were disguised as a young pair.

Sakura's last word, however, was said quite loudly, catching the attention of the few villagers walking around them.

Neji didn't lose his cool; he never did, anyway, and smiled slightly. "Okay… I'm not."

Sakura sighed and leant her head on his shoulder. "Damn it," she said quietly.

"But the percentage is fair," Neji shrugged, just lightly, trying not to hit her head too much as he did.

"How much?"

"About 33%."

"Sounds poor to me."

"It's a third."

"And the remaining 67% include?"

"1% chance that it is still somewhere in Nanoke, and 66% chance that it is anywhere else in the world."

Sakura gripped Neji's arm more tightly. "So a third, right?"

Neji took her hand into his. "A third."

* * *

_**A/N: Poor. Lame. NejiSaku. Sorry. No damn idea how to deal with this one, so I wrote some random shit. (sorry for that)**_

_**And BTW, 33% is not third. It's thirty-three point three periodical (if it is the right word) percent. It means 33,3333333333333333333333333333333333333 (insert infinite number of threes)**_

_**Yes, I'm that meticulous.**_

_**And thus Neji lied to Sakura to make her feel better and that makes it NejiSaku :P**** ... I always wanted to try NejiSaku... though NejiTen's better...**_


	12. Dead Wrong

Entry no. 12: Dead Wrong

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_**A/N: KakaSaku. Warned you. AU. (An AU connected with my other AUs. I'm starting to connect my oneshots into... One-Particular-AU oneshots. Wow. I might try those as well...)**_

_**P.s. Thanks for reviews. Thanks for not flaming me for writing NejiSaku... and stuff**_

_**Don't read if you don't care about me as an actual person: I'm currently addicted on the song "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem? You know it? It's flawless, isn't it? -_- ... can answer me in a review.**_

* * *

"I'm so... dead."

Kakashi smiled down at the kunoichi. "You have no stamina, Sakura."

"Aaah, shut up, sensei! We've trained all day! You're tired as well."

"I think you're not dead," Kakashi remarked, sitting opposite her in a chair. "When you can yell at me like that."

Sakura gave him a dirty look and stood up again. "Do you want a tea?"

Kakashi's smile was sugary. "You would be very nice."

Sakura sighed and walked over to the kitchen. "Don't play me, Hatake."

"I'm not playing anything, _Haruno_."

Sakura's head popped out of the kitchen door. "Maybe that's your problem, Kakashi-sensei. You should play more."

Kakashi gave her another smile. "Let's play something together, then."

She frowned. "Like what?"

"I don't know. I don't know any games. If you don't want to play ninja with me."

She grimaced sourly. "I've had enough of playing ninja today. Let's play... uh..."

"What about the game you and Naruto play and one of you always ends up shouting?"

Sakura raised a brow. "Guess Me?"

Kakashi nodded. "If that's how it's called."

Sakura shifted a bit. "It's pretty hard."

"I'm certainly not afraid."

"And it mostly ends after the first question."

"Preconceptions are made to be proven wrong."

Sakura frowned. "You really want to play it, right?"

"I'm bored."

She sighed. "Fine. Let me explain you the rules: One of us will start and ask the other one a question about himself, like, "What's my favourite colour?". The first one will guess, I don't know, that it's green. If he guessed right, he has a point and he can ask himself."

"And if he's wrong?"

"Then the second one wins, and can ask the first one to do anything for him."

"That's harsh."

"I know."

"It's sweet that when you play, Naruto almost always wins."

Sakura blushed. "Shut up."

She vanished into the kitchen once more, returning in a while with two teacups and a kettle.

"Who's going to start?" Kakashi asked once he had a full cup of tea in his hands.

"I," Sakura said simply.

"Why?"

"I'm a lady," Sakura began, sipping the hot tea, "And I'm the more experienced in this here."

Kakashi smiled. "You don't want to lose, right?"

"Yes."

"You are afraid what I might want from you?"

Sakura looked at him, and the look in his eyes almost said she should be. "No, sensei," she shrugged. "But I've lost the last time we played with Naruto."

That was a lie, and Kakashi knew it. He loved watching Sakura and Naruto play those stupid games of theirs, and he used every opportunity he had to do so.

"Oh. Then begin, Sakura."

She nodded.

Some defiant part of her wanted to ask _Am I afraid of you?_, but the rational part had to admit that she had no answer for that.

She decided to make it easy for him. "What's my favourite colour?"

Kakashi smiled. "Red."

"Correct."

"What's my ninja rank?"

"Jounin," Sakura answered, frowning. "What's that question?"

"Correct," Kakashi said, watching her attentively. "I don't want you to_ let _me win, Sakura."

The pink haired kunoichi grinned.

The game was on.

"What's my favourite food."

"Dumplings."

"Correct. How did you know?"

"You order dumplings every time you have the choice. Where do I live?"

"Flat 4 in the housing unit 24B."

"Correct. And how did_ you_ know?"

Sakura looked away. She remembered it all too well. "I've been there once. When you were five hours late for training. I have a fishlet at home. What's its name?"

"You have no fishlet," Kakashi answered, crossing his arms. "But a good bluff."

"Correct," Sakura smiled. "And thanks."

"I have scented soap at home. What's its scent?"

Sakura looked away. Another memory, from the same day. Sneaking into her sensei's flat, she smelled kunai polish and...

"Cherry."

Kakashi looked at her with surprise. "Good guess."

Not a guess.

She didn't answer that.

"Do I like sweet-briar?"

"You hate it."

She looked at him. He looked so smug, sitting in her chair, leant back, arms crossed, eyes fixed on _her_...

"Correct."

How did he _know_?

It was like torture, she felt like Kakashi was creeping into her head. With each question, she remembered the day, with each answer, she realized she notices. That she cares about what he likes and dislikes, what things around him are like. And he knew so much about her.

Why?

Because he's her sensei?

"My favourite Icha Icha book?"

"Paradise," she answered blankly, automatically.

He practically didn't let go of the book for most of the time she knew him.

"Wrong."

She twitched. "What?"

Kakashi smiled. "You were correct, but you were dozing off."

She frowned at him. "Bastard."

He kept smiling.

She was starting to get into a bad mood. "How do my favourite pair of socks look like?"

"A bit longer, plain white."

He_ couldn't_ know that."Good guess," she mumbled.

"I wasn't guessing."

_Damn you, Hatake._

"Who's my most frequent drinking buddy?"

And how was she supposed to know_ that_?

She would give it up just to stop it already, but Kakashi seemed like he was challenging her to do her best.

And she wanted to show she's not afraid of him, former sensei or not.

A strong man or not.

She was silent for a long while.

And then, her mind wandered to the day... and she recalled a woman in a coat with a broad grin, showing her way to Kakashi's home. A woman that most likely spent the last night with him drinking, a woman she later came to know as...

"Mitarashi Anko."

"Do you read my mind, Sakura?"

It was spoken in a very strange way. "No," she retorted. "Do_ you_ read_ mine_?"

Kakashi smiled again. "Sometimes it's easy to," he replied. "And you are correct."

"Do I like cats or dogs?"

"Cats. To my uttermost disappointment," the dog summoner added with a smile.

How... oh.

She told him that.

"Correct."

"What is the most stupid pick up line I've ever used?"

"Excuse me?"

Kakashi repeated his question.

"How... am I... supposed to know that, sensei?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I guessed you might know it, considering that you felt obliged to name it so."

Sakura frowned pensively.

The... worst pick up line Kakashi's ever used?

Wait...

_"That's the most stupid pick-up line ever, sensei."_

_"I know. But you're going to have a tea with me, so it worked."_

Sakura smiled a bit.

Kakashi noticed and sipped his tea.

Through the mask, by the way.

Ew.

"Sakura, I'm thirsty and I don't want to get stuck with Naruto. Want a tea?"

"Correct."

"That's not even a pick up line, by the way."

Kakashi shrugged. "Your words."

Sakura couldn't argue about that. "What's my favourite song?"

"Courage by Shisuke Tomoko."

"...correct."

She needed a question he won't be able to answer.

Was there possibly something he didn't know about her?

"Who am I in love with?"

Sakura froze.

Well, he beat her to that.

To the unanswerable question of course.

She glared at him. "How am I supposed to know that, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi's eye crinkled.

He was an idiot, and a sore loser.

"You figured out Anko-san. Try this."

Sakura frowned. Sore loser all right.

Fine.

Kakashi... in love? This was so absurd she couldn't even imagine it.

Kakashi, his laid-back, lazy, detached self, fretting over some woman... or man?

Sakura wasn't really sure.

Was it a bluff?

Somehow she doubted that.

What were the symptoms of love?

He was supposed to care extraordinarily much for someone, find excuses to be with the person, act weirdly around her.

Kakashi's latest actions...

He spent a lot of time with her and Naruto, watching as they argued, training with them, gossiping with her and listening to Naruto's rants.

He was there for them when melancholy overcame them, when they remembered Sasuke.

He also lost some of his cool around them, or so it seemed to Sakura. He sometimes seemed almost... happy.

He was speaking to them in tone softer than before, his smiles around them more fond, his laughs more heartfelt.

Oh no.

Kakashi.

You...

Oh my.

Kakashi you are in love with...

"Naruto."

Kakashi watched her silently for a while.

Kakashi is gay.

And he is gay for _Naruto _of all people.

Sakura's former sensei closed his black eye, seeming to try and regain his cool.

"Sakura, you're..."

Correct.

_No point in denying that, sensei. I know it._

"Dead wrong."

This was said with a chuckle.

Sakura frowned. "But how?"

"Easily," Kakashi said softly. "First, Naruto did grow up into a fine man, but he's really not my type. Second, I am not homosexual. Third, you were close."

Sakura blinked. "Close?" she repeated. "How close?"

Kakashi smiled. "Very close."

She looked away. "What do you want from me?"

"Just one thing," Kakashi said. "And you can say no if you want to."

Sakura looked at him. "Trying to be gentleman?"

"I don't want you to be mad at me for making you do it."

She watched him. He was still smiling slightly, that much was evident under the mask and from his eye. "Fine."

Kakashi tugged at his mask, letting it slip down.

Narrow jaw line, thin lips, face clean-shaven for some reason.

He was... handsome.

In a way.

"Kakashi-sensei," she breathed out, seeing her sensei's face for the very first time.

"Could you please kiss me, Sakura?"

"What?"

"Kiss me, Sakura."

She blinked.

And it all snapped into place.

Fond smiles, heart-warming laughs. Little things he noticed. Small, genuine compliments about her looks. Evenings spent over jasmine tea. Random moments of consent. The sudden tight hug when she came back after Sasuke died in her arms.

Oh.

Dead wrong she was.

He was in love with her.

She practically threw herself at him, gripping the armrests as she leant in and pressed her lips against his.

It was one moment of foolish bravery, but she was grateful for it.

Because now, feeling Kakashi's warmth, smelling the peachy smell of his hair-gel once again...

She didn't want to let go.

Kakashi's arms sneaked to her waist, palming her sides as she continued to kiss him.

She propped one arm on his muscular chest, her thumb rubbing small circles.

She loved him too.

Kakashi carefully slid his hand up her back, trying not to startle her.

When he deepened the kiss, Sakura's mind was sent spinning.

There was one thing echoing in her mind.

She was dead wrong.

Oh, how wrong she was.

To think Kakashi is gay.

He clearly wasn't.

* * *

_**Too long. Read another my oneshot form the oneshot collection Eleven Words, In a While, to understand the insinuations. Now I remembered I didn't have it up on FF... so wait till I put it up... XP**_

_**After Proof Reading Thought: OMG, I made Sakura think Kakashi is gay for Naruto... *blinks for, like, five minutes***_


	13. Running Away

_**Entry no. 13: Running Away**_

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_**A/N: SasuSaku. AU. I personally like this one for some sadistic reason.**_

_**Usually I would dedicate this chapter just to my loyal reviewers and readers, but I have a classmate who has some family problems, so this one is dedicated to all of those people out there whose parents are either violent or control freaks as well. It's one thing to care for your child a lot and completely other thing to keep them completely restrained, not leaving them a second to breathe. Childern have wings, you know, and it's cruel to clip them. **_

_**And there's a message for T., even though I know she doesn't read this...**_

_** I know you don't know it, but I sympathize with you. I hear everything you say about your parents and I feel terrible for not ebing able to help you. So I keep my fingers crossed for you, T.. Just believe and be patient. They say love makes wonders, so let's just hope they're right. You've got a boyfriend who loves you even though you can't really be together, and a lot of friends who are there for you. So let's all count the days until your eighteenth birthday together. ... So... sorry for this, I had to get it off my chest...**_

_**Something No One Will Understand: Hip Hip Hooray Kometa Brno! ^^**_

* * *

"Don't go."

Sasuke's hands fisted.

A gust of wind blew through the street, sending wisps of dust dancing.

"Sasuke-kun."

He couldn't answer.

He just couldn't.

"Don't do it again."

He wouldn't be able to leave her if he did.

"Please."

Why was it so hard for him?

"I beg you."

He had to kill Itachi. That was the only, single thing that mattered.

"I beg you, Sasuke-kun."

Why won't she just give up?

"I love you."

He loved her, too.

That was the answer.

And that was the reason why he was going to leave.

He bit his tongue.

"Is there really nothing you can tell me?"

So many things.

That he loves her hair, her laugh. That he is sorry. That he never meant to break her heart again. That he didn't ever want to make her cry. That he apologizes for returning and making her live through it all over again.

"Sasuke-kun."

The sobs finally overtook her.

If he could turn and look at her before, he couldn't now for sure.

"What have I done wrong?"

You made me love you.

Then he heard a sound he hoped to never hear again.

A kunai being drawn.

Sakura.

"I can't let you go."

No.

She was quick, but she could never match his speed.

His hand clutching her wrist, he blinked, face to face with her.

Tears were welled up in her eyes.

There was anger and sadness in those beautiful green orbs. And pain.

Pain he caused.

He gritted his teeth.

He had to cause her this pain to save her from even greater one.

She was shaking with agitation and sobs, appearing so weak as she trembled in front of him.

He kept holding her wrist, almost masochistically enjoying something that probably was their last physical contact.

He was so close to her he could kiss her.

He wanted to, but he knew he couldn't do that and leave.

He bit his virgin lip when he twisted Sakura's arm behind her, making her bend forward to ease the ache it caused.

She was silent now. She said everything she could. Just few soft sobs and whimpers escaped her lips as he held her.

I'm sorry.

So sorry.

With a precise hit to the spine, Sakura's body froze, paralyzed.

He set her down on the ground gently, touching her hair softly.

"Don't follow me."

Another hit, and Sakura's body went limp, unconscious.

He stood up and looked down at the woman who was probably the only love of his life.

Itachi.

He destroyed everything.

And then, Sasuke did something he kept doing through his short life.

Ran away.

He ran away from Itachi when he killed his family.

He ran away from Konoha so he could learn from Orochimaru.

He ran away from Orochimaru back to Konoha so he could master his Sharingan with Kakashi's help.

And he ran away from Konoha again, so he could kill Itachi.

No one was going to stop him now.

So Sasuke left, knowing all too well he was just running away again.

Running away from his friends, afraid of letting them close.

Running away from the feelings he began developing towards Sakura.

Running away from himself.

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_**Thank you for reading. Love you, guys ... :)**_


	14. Judgment

_**Entry no. 14: Judgment**_

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_**NonPsychopatic!Sasuke… sorry. A joke.**_

_**AU, prequel to Running Away.**_

_**Thanks for the nice reviwes, guys :) This is for you.**_

_**And sorry for posting 2 chapters at once, I was about to post just one, but then I noticed I didn't post the previous one.**_

* * *

"Hatake-san!"

Kakashi turned, a smile fading from his face quickly as he spotted the ANBU running towards him.

"What?"

ANBU man bowed quickly. "I was sent by Hokage-sama," he said. "She said to get you."

"Why?"

"At the gates…" the ANBU glanced at Naruto and Sakura standing behind Kakashi, listening them. "It's Uchiha-san."

Kakashi's eye narrowed. "Itachi is back?"

"No sir. It's Sasuke-san."

Standing in the sentry post on Konoha's walls, the remnants of former Team Seven watched their former comrade.

He was taller, certainly. And a man now.

His hair was longer, his eyes still brooding and sad, but they had sharper edge to them now.

He looked tired and battered, his clothes crumpled and hair messy.

He also had no headband.

"Sasuke-kun."

Kakashi glanced at Sakura, who was biting her lip.

Tsunade walked up to them. "He asked us to accept him back."

Kakashi raised a brow. "Really?"

"Yes. He asked us to forget every Konoha shinobi he killed and let him back into the village. He's sworn he left Orochimaru forever. He even claimed he killed him."

"Do you believe him?" Sakura asked, unable to tear her eyes off her childhood crush.

"He has no proof," Tsunade said, shrugging. "We don't know what to think."

"I think it's good Sasuke realized what an idiot he was," Naruto stated, watching Sasuke as well.

"Sasuke is a traitor," Kakashi said simply, surprising everyone around him. "You shouldn't listen to him."

Tsunade raised her brows. "Do you think we should send him away?"

"I think it's dangerous to let him inside."

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura finally tore her eyes off the raven-haired traitor. "What are you saying?"

Kakashi ignored her. "Is there something else he wanted, Hokage-sama?"

The Gondaime walked past them, leaning out of the window. "He wanted to talk to you, Kakashi-kun."

Kakashi looked at the young man below them. "I thought so."

"I want to talk to him, too!" Naruto said loudly.

Gondaime glanced at him. "If you think it is safe, Naruto-kun."

"Sasuke-kun wouldn't hurt Naruto," Sakura said suddenly. "They are friends. He admitted that himself."

Tsunade frowned at her student. "Friendship means nothing during a war. Brother fights brother, friend fights friend."

"Sakura's right, Tsunade-sama," Kakashi said. "Sasuke's… a bit complicated person, but he wouldn't do that. Especially now when he wants to return."

Tsunade nodded. "Then it's your own choice, Naruto-kun."

The time ticked away painfully slowly for Sasuke.

The former sound-nin stood still where he was, arms crossed to show he wasn't preparing to fight anyone.

He felt foolish.

He stood there in front of the gates, as a lover hoping to beg off his beloved.

He asked them to forgive him everything.

He, who never forgave what Itachi has done.

Fool.

Even the gates seemed to mock him, towering over him in all their wooden glory.

He was standing there, waiting for their judgment.

Will they forgive and take him back? Send him away? Kill him? Imprison him?

He had absolutely nothing to give them, nothing to offer but himself and his sharingan.

He had no excuses for the Konoha ninja he killed when he worked for Orochimaru, no excuses for the pain he caused to Sakura.

He had no proof he wasn't part of Otogakure anymore. He had no proof Orochimaru was dead.

So there he stood, bare-handed, with his hands stained with blood of those he betrayed.

Waiting for judgment.

It was a mere rustle of leaves that signalized Kakashi's approach, making him turn to the jounin.

"Kakashi."

"Sasuke."

It was simple, a while of silent and curious observation as the two of the last three Sharingan users watched each other.

It was Kakashi who spoke up first.

"You're back."

Sasuke saw his tension. He was prepared to fight him if it came to it.

"I'm not there to fight, Kakashi."

Kakashi shrugged, leaning against a tree leisurely, the tension not leaving him. "I would be foolish if I wasn't wary."

"I want to learn," Sasuke said.

Kakashi raised a brow. "Learn?"

"You know a lot about Sharingan."

The silver-haired man shifted a bit. "I'm not an Uchiha."

"You know more than me. And I think you know more than Orochimaru did."

"Did?"

Sasuke frowned. "I've told it to Tsunade-sama and the ANBU already. He's dead."

"Why did you kill him?"

Sasuke looked away. "I've lost control."

"How can we know you won't lose control when we let you inside Konoha?"

Kakashi was ever so calm all the time.

So irritatingly, perfectly calm.

"You can't," Sasuke admitted.

"Why should we let you in, then?"

"I don't know. But I'm not going to beg you for it."

"No one wants you to beg, Sasuke."

Sasuke looked at Kakashi shortly before looking away again.

Kakashi had the same piercing look in his eyes as Orochimaru had. Striking precisely the heart, the soft point in him, making him submit.

"What are you going to do if we won't accept you back?"

He didn't know.

He had no one, no plan, no friends, no allies.

It was just him, his sword, and his vengeance.

"You're the only option I have," he ground through his teeth.

"You need us," Kakashi stated, the light tone of his voice betraying his slight surprise. "You need a home."

"Otogakure is never going to accept me back," Sasuke snapped. "And I'm a criminal for everyone else."

"So you came back home, where you are a traitor."

Sasuke had nothing to answer.

"I never knew you had so much hope, Sasuke."

Sasuke frowned.

Was this the reason why he came to Konoha?

That he hoped that, somehow, they will forgive him and take him back?

When he came there, there was still nothing in his head. His feet carried him this way, and he obeyed.

"I wasn't going to return to Konoha."

"So why did you?"

He shrugged. "I just did."

"So it's still your home, after all," Kakashi said. "The place your heart leads you to."

Sasuke looked away.

"You went to the Sound village when you wanted power, and to Konoha when you sought forgiveness." Kakashi smiled slightly. "You really are complicated."

Sasuke snorted.

"Naruto wants to talk to you," Kakashi added, pulling away from the tree. "Do you want to talk to him?"

Did he?

"No," he answered.

Kakashi nodded and disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving Sasuke.

The raven-haired outcast turned back to the gates.

He thought he heard someone cry, soft sobs carried to him with the wind.

He immediately thought of Sakura.

Would she forgive him?

Did Naruto forgive him?

He felt helpless, alone with the trees surrounding him, waiting for them to deliver their judgment.

Was he deemed to stay alone for the rest of his days, or to return to them?

If they let him in, would he be accepted, or looked down upon as on the lowest scum?

Was Sakura still in love with him?

Was Naruto still his friend?

His hands fisted.

He could do nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

So the traitor, murderer and liar stood there.

Waiting for the judgment of those he loved and those he honored.

* * *

_**P.S. Do you read my author notes?**_

_**If you do, could you help me?**_

_**I had an idea for a House, M.D. Naruto style ('cos I love the show) with Tsunade as House, Jirayia as Wilson and yeah, Oro as Cuddy. Bu I don't know about the team. Any ideas?**_

_**Thanks for reading.**_

_**Peace, love and Sith... wait, this is Naruto, so peace, love and Akatsuki.**_

_**Moya**_


	15. Seeking Solace

Entry no. 15: Seeking Solace

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_**I can practically make it a stand-alone fanfic… -_-**_י _**Sequel to Running away.**_

_**SasuSaku, KakaSaku.**_

_**This fic is personally for everyone reading this. I get all the mails telling me someone has followed or reviewed this... it makes me happy.**_

* * *

_**Solamen miseris socios habuisse malorum.**_

* * *

Kakashi sat on his couch, reading the newest Icha Icha novel when there was a knock on his door.

Standing up to see the visitor, he set his book away.

He heard no sounds from behind the door, as if the person outside the door stood frozen.

He opened the door, finding himself face to face with his former student.

He was surprised by her appearance.

Her always painstakingly perfect short pink hair was mussed, her bangs hanging into her face, giving her somewhat gloomy appearance.

Her green eyes seemed swollen and red, indicating that she cried not long ago.

This, along with her dirty clothes and the fact that she kept standing, frozen even as he opened the door, assured him that something was wrong.

"Sakura," he said, letting the surprise soak into his voice, doing his best to ignore her state. "Hello."

She swallowed and looked up at him. "Hello, Kakashi-sensei," she answered dully.

"What do you need?"

Sakura swallowed again. "It's Sasuke."

Kakashi frowned a bit and stepped aside. "Come in."

He knew all too well about Sakura's revived love for her raven haired teammate, as well as he knew about the affection Sasuke started to feel towards her as well.

He decided to step out of this, for his own, personal reasons.

But it seemed that it came back to him by its own.

He closed the door behind the girl, turning to find her standing still in the middle of his living room.

"Sit down," he suggested, walking past her to his couch, sitting down himself.

She nodded stiffly and sat down next to him.

It wasn't Sakura.

It was someone… something else.

It was as if she was trapped, reliant on the others to tell her what to feel and what to do.

"What happened?"

Sakura turned her head to him, her expression blank.

She was in shock, or so it seemed.

Unable to come out of her shell because of the pain the reality held for her.

"He did it again," she said, almost whispered.

Kakashi was outright confused. "What?"

"He left."

Kakashi froze.

Sakura stared at him, expression indifferent, as if she wasn't looking at him at all.

And he understood.

Sakura shut away from the rest of the world, from herself and her feelings, after she's experienced the worst memory of her childhood all over again.

He understood her all too well.

If he was supposed to lose Rin and Obito again, it would be the end.

So he did the first thing that came into his mind.

He hugged her.

Sakura was like a chunk of ice in his arms, stiff and cold.

"I don't know what I did wrong," Sakura said, her vacant expression hitting Kakashi's chest hard.

He knew what she felt like.

And he knew he had no way of helping her.

"You did nothing wrong, Sakura. It's Sasuke's wrong."

Sakura didn't answer, but her head tilted just a bit, leaning on Kakashi's shoulder.

"He doesn't know what he abandoned," Kakashi continued, his eyes fixed on Sakura's nape, which was now so close to his face he could kiss it easily.

And he wanted to.

His personal reason was Sakura.

"He will return. He went after Itachi, right?"

Sakura nodded, her cheek nuzzling his shoulder.

"He will come back when he realizes what he left behind."

He felt her move a bit as she swallowed.

"He… likes you, Sakura."

A twitch.

Sakura pulled away from his embrace and looked him into eye.

"Kakashi…" she whispered.

Tears were welling up in her eyes.

Maybe she wasn't as deep as he thought.

He looked away.

She dived forward and kissed him.

Her face was damp with tears and her chin was quivering when she kept her lips locked with his in vigorous kiss.

She put her hands to his neck to keep him from pulling back, which she managed with that impossible strength of hers.

He loved every second of it, the pleasure mixing with guilt and sadness as he knew the kiss wasn't meant for him, but for Sasuke.

Same for the soft caress of her fingers in his hair, same for the tears streaming down her face.

It wasn't about him.

It was about Sasuke.

She pulled back, sorrow, anger and suppressed longing showing in those deep green eyes of hers.

He wanted to pull his mask down and kiss her again, give her what she wanted.

Make her forget Sasuke in long moments of guilty pleasure.

But he couldn't.

He wouldn't do that to her.

She was broken, but he would never let anything shatter her.

He put his hands on hers, still on his neck, and pulled them away.

Giving them one last squeeze before letting go of them, he managed a forced smile.

"It's gonna be okay, Sakura. Everything is going to be alright."

She stared at him, wide eyed, before nodding. "Yes… Kakashi-sensei."

"You should go home and get a sleep."

Still utterly confused, she nodded and stood up.

He followed her to the door and closed them behind her.

Maybe once she will realize what he had done for her today.

He was sure that anywhere she will go now, it will be the right way.

Because she was seeking solace right now, not sex.

She needed help, but not his.

He would be there for her if she needed a comrade in arms she has to rely upon.

He would be there for her if she needed an ear to listen to her worries.

He would be there for her if she needed a patient and loving lover.

He would be there for her if she sought someone to return her love.

But right now she was seeking solace.

And that was something he couldn't give her.

Because he still sought it himself.

* * *

_**The solace for the hapless is to have comrades in their anguish. – Spinozo**_

* * *

_**Stupid, stupid, stupid. I think I hate my writing.**_

_**I think that would be properly angsty if it was followed by my "Red AU"(previously called My Personal Cruel AU Where Everyone Dies On Sakura), where Sasuke dies in Sakrua's arms after being accidentally killed by Itachi (I've seen him in, like, three episodes, but I think he loves his brother and doesn't want to kill him. He would kill him already if he didn't.). Red AU also has Kakashi being a great support for Sakura as everyone else she loved dies. And Kakashi dying then and Sakura finally shattering, taking Kakashi's place in spending long hours at the memorial stone.**_

_**I got a little carried away. Whoa. I really start to think that Red AU deserves to be a fanfic itself. Do you?**_


	16. Excuses

_**Entry no. 16: Excuses**_

* * *

_**Part of the Red AU, KakaSaku.**_

_**To akirasatsuna: It does, right? Hmm, I wonder if someone will stop being lazy and finally make it one... BTW, when i wrote Ino's death, I really thought it was far too... how to put it... detached? No emotions in it?**_

_**Still for my followers, readers and this time especially for the guy I like, 'cause I just feel like it... ;P**_

* * *

_**Res, quae perduntur, centena valere feruntur.**_

* * *

Kakashi, you bastard…

Sakura clutched the pleat of her dress tightly.

Why did you have to die?

She looked up at the candles and white flowers scattered around a photo of her sensei, with his name inscribed below it.

Hatake Kakashi.

He was the last, last thing she had.

The Copy-nin.

Man of thousand jutsus.

Man of thousand excuses, according to Tsunade-sama.

Kakashi.

Kakashi and his excuses.

Sakura still remembered the first one, the one she always, even when he came with even worse ones, claimed to be the stupidest one ever.

_Sorry, but a black cat crossed my way, so I had to take the long way._

Tsunade walked up on a pedestal, ready to say few words about the deceased.

_Sorry I'm late. I'm afraid I got lost on the path of life._

Sakura bit her lip.

_Hope you won't got lost on the path to afterlife, sensei._

"Hatake Kakashi was one of the best Konoha had…"

He was. And despite all the ruckus his name could cause, he didn't seem that it got to his head.

Though, well… he_ did_ decide to read his book when Naruto attacked him during the pass or fail test.

He was unobtrusively arrogant.

That was the term.

"… and one of the brightest."

One had to have quick thinking when he had to excuse late arrivals as often as Kakashi did.

Sakura knew what they meant now, of course.

Not long before he died, they met at the memorial stone.

She was there to mourn for all of her comrades that died, and found Kakashi there, drowning in his own sorrow as he used to there.

It felt as if some of the weight was lifted from her shoulder when they stood there together, side by side.

She almost made him talk to her about his grief, but then, when she asked him out for a tea, he said…

_I'm afraid I can't, Sakura. I think I left my fridge opened at home._

And he vanished with those words, leaving her alone, but not sad.

It was refreshing, funny almost.

How they were sometimes so alike.

Thinking out excuses to lock themselves up with their pains and worries, so they won't have to share them.

Kakashi.

_Why did you leave me alone again?_

_That's really _not _funny._

She could still see his face, the last smirk, last excuse, last long, empty stare.

_Sorry I'm leaving so soon, Sakura. I'd really love to fight another day, but I'm afraid Naruto needs me to set right some mess he did up there._

Idiot.

Those were stupid words he chose to be his last.

She had to smile anyway, the smile seemingly misplaced on her face covered with blood, dirt and tears.

They are now together.

Everyone she loved was now beyond, waiting for her to join them.

Her mom. Her dad. Sasuke. Naruto. Lee. Ino. Kakashi…

"He could sometimes be a bother…"

Sakura smiled bitterly.

Hokage-sama couldn't deny her personality. She just had to preach Kakashi one last time.

That was something she admired about her.

And Kakashi being a bother?

She would have him no other way.

Watching Kakashi's photo again, she swallowed hard.

_Sensei._

_Thank you for everything._

_I will remember you._

_For your stupid excuses, for your strength, for everything you've done for us._

_And when someone will ask me what your last words were, I won't lie to them._

_But for me your last words will be what you said before the battle._

"_I love you, Sakura."_

She shook as her chuckle mixed with sobs.

Their last proper conversation.

* * *

"_It's finally here, sensei. You said it. A suicide mission."_

"_You won't believe how many I've already gone through. But still, any last words?"_

"_Of course. I_ hate_ ramen. Take this, Naruto. … Yours, Kakashi-sensei?"_

"… _I love you, Sakura."_

"_What?"_

"… _um… what did you say?"_

"_What?"_

"_What what?"_

"_Kakashi…"_

"_What's wrong?"_

"_You know all too well what's wrong."_

"_No I don't."_

"_We just talked about it!"_

"_Really? Oh, I'm sorry, I zoned out for a while."_

"…_Kakashi…"_

* * *

_**Lost things are said to be hundred times more valuable. – Walther**_


	17. Vengenance

_**Entry no. 17: Vengeance**_

* * *

_**My love and this chap to Rosebunse, a loyal reviewer. :) (No hate for those who aren't! Or those who would review if they could and so...)**_

_**P.S. I just overcame a writers block, so I might really make it to 50 oneshots! I'm still around the 30th, though... and there are 100 promtps.**_

* * *

Sakura sat on her heels, tampering with the papers set out in front of her.

She thumbed through the files absently, her mind focused on something completely different than studies.

Her mind was focused on Sasuke.

She couldn't help it; as much as she tried to push him away from her head, he kept on popping up.

He did it.

He left.

He betrayed Konoha.

And, in a way, he failed them all.

Sakura, Naruto, Kakashi... he failed everyone who put their hopes into him.

And why?

Because of a single thing.

It has been his purpose, the reason why he lived and fought since he was little.

It was his reason to get up every day, his reason to learn and improve.

In a way, it was that single thing that ruined his life, brought him to borders of sociopathy, made him try to stay independent on anyone else.

His illness and his remedy.

Vengeance.

* * *

_**A/N: This oneshot took me the most time I ever needed to come up with a proper idea and write it down. That's strange, because whole Sasuke's story is about vengeance and thus it shouldn't be so hard... but it was.**_

_**It's short, and it has to point and no end. Oh well. I'm getting worse and worse in writing oneshots.**_


	18. Love

_**Entry no. 18: Love**_

* * *

_**For my readers, followers, reviewers and for those who believe that the real, untainted love just might exist.**_

* * *

There are many different types of love.

There is the love Neji feels for Hinata, love of a brother who would do absolutely anything to protect his sweet little sister from anyone who dared to endanger her.

There is the love Lee feels for Sakura. It is a sweet, youthful love of a gentleman, who would protect and serve the lady he adores.

There is the love Hinata feels for Naruto, full of admiration and patient progress, love of soft looks and gentle, shy touches.

There is the love Naruto felt for Sakura, hoping, foolish love of a boy who has to secretly has to tell himself the girl loves him, but is too shy to show it, to keep from being heartbroken.

There is Sakura's love for Sasuke, bordering on obsession, love in which you care about every little step, listen to every whim and stand up and try again when the person shoves you away.

There is Kakashi's love for his team, the one in which you would put your life on the line for your friends, and trust them wholly with your own well-being.

There is the love Itachi feels for Sasuke. Love of an older brother who can't show affection or weakness, so he takes care of his little brother through annoying lectures and tiny mischief, which the boy might see as harassment, but in fact it is a well-meant nudge.

And there, of course, is the love I feel for them all.

It's not really a love, they are petty, whining shinobi who complain when they should work. But some of them are amusing, like Naruto and his dream to be a Hokage.

But for now, this is my job.

Where the hell is Shizune with my sake?

* * *

_**A/N:**_

_**I needed a storyteller and I've realized I've never even considered writing something with Tsunade.**_

_**She's SO OOC. (Except the remark about Shizune and sake … XP)**_

_**Well, maybe she was drunk. XP**_

**Something The Author Just Noticed:**_** I write JUST about Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi. Shit. Why?**_


End file.
